Counterpoint: Newsweek on Marriage
Posted: August 23rd, 2006 | Author: alicetiara | Filed under: feminism, Politics | 3 Comments »With all the talk in the blogosphere today about the reprehensible Forbes article, I thought I’d accentuate the positive for once and send kudos to Newsweek for its balanced and sensible revisiting of the famous 1986 article that contained the choice quote “women over 40 are more likely to be killed by a terrorist than get married”. That piece inspired Susan Faludi to write Backlash and became a symbol of how frequently mainstream press misconstrue academic studies (it also, unfortunately, became canon of the 80s: if you’re not married by 40, the conventional wisdom went, you’re SOL).
So great to see Newsweek revisiting that by examining the original study, looking at new studies, and re-interviewing the participants in the 1986 article. Their conclusions?
- Men and women are more likely to marry after 40 than they ever have been before
- College educated women actually have greater chances of getting married than non-college educated women (they do nicely identify that if marriage becomes a class privilege, it contributes to the rich-poor gap as marriage has many financial, child-rearing, etc. advantages, as all those denied that right by virtue of their sexual orientation would agree)
- Trying to predict future behavior based on past demography when you’re looking at rapidly changing social mores is difficult (before 1980, women really didn’t marry much past 40)
- There are plenty of fulfilling life paths for both men and women that don’t include obsessing over marriage
And finally, Newsweek admits to participating in the “trend-spotting and fearmongering that are too often the stock in trade of both journalists and academics”.
But I have to take umbrage with this:
Statistically, people who marry at much higher-than-average ages don’t have lower odds for divorce. But intuitively, some experts are starting to think that later-in-life marriages may have better chances of survival. “It makes sense—if you’re getting married at a later age … you’ll have gone through a lot of relationships, and you’ll know what you want [and] what you don’t,” says Elizabeth Gregory, director of the women’s studies program at the University of Houston and the author of “The New Later Motherhood,” to be published in 2007.
This is a common technique in mass media using social science: Statistically, this is not true. But we think it is, so we’re going to repeat it anyway. This is just a lazy way of repeating conventional wisdom rather than to bother exploring why it might be incorrect.
But otherwise a nice and balanced look at a social construct that we spend way too much time obsessing over to begin with. A great book on this is Stephanie Coontz’s “Marriage, a History”– she’s excellent at locating difference historically. Before one gets all up in arms about marrying career women, not marrying career women, working outside the home, not working outside the home, housework, day care, “soul mates”, marrying past 40, marrying before 40, domestic partnerships, gay marriage(*), and any other type of problem that can be analyzed, overanalyzed, and polemicized, let’s keep in mind that marriage is a constantly-changing institution that has meant an enormous array of things over the years. (Marrying for love is about a 200 year old concept, for one thing. And engagement rings were invented by the N.W. Ayer advertising agency working for DeBeers in the 1940s).
* Not to de-emphasize the importance of attaining equal marriage rights in the U.S.
Technorati Tags: marriage, Newsweek, feminism, Forbes
I read Coontz’s book for my Sociology of Marriage class, and you’re right, it’s a great book. :)
Interesting observation about the “intuitively” vs. “statistically” divide. And it doesn’t really ring true, anyway; “intuitively,” we’d have to acknowledge that the older you are, the more set in your ways you are and, thus, the harder it is to mesh together with another person.
Just speaking from present personal experiences. ;)
Happily Ever After: Without the Prince?
New Release, Princess Bubble, Strikes Chord with America’s 51% SINGLE WOMEN WHO, FOR THE FIRST TIME IN U.S. HISTORY, OUTNUMBER MARRIED WOMEN
ATLANTA, August 9, 2007—This Christmas season thousands single belles will hang their silk stockings and say their prayers before a quick night’s sleep-then it’s off to work they go. This ever growing group of Carols, Noels, and Merrys will shop, party and cook as they celebrate the holidays with families and friends. Two successful single gals will ring in the New Year with a resolution; offering parents an updated version of the traditional fairy tale. No longer a “Damsel in Distress,” this princess travels the world, helps others, and finds “happily ever after” even before she finds her Prince!
With wisdom gleaned from their careers as single, globe-trotting flight attendants, first-time authors Susan Johnston and Kimberly Webb have crafted a modern-day book that celebrates singleness. A contemporary fairy tale for all ages, Princess Bubble was written to reduce the overwhelming sense of failure, self-doubt, and despair that some single women face.
“Knowing how low self-esteem and depression plague many single females, we wanted to spread the message that ‘happily ever after’ can occur even before Prince Charming arrives. . . or even if he never does,” said Webb.
“We’re definitely not anti-Prince,” said Johnston (whose college nickname was “Bubbles”). “We’re not anti-family or anti-marriage, if anything we’re anti-‘Damsel in Distress.’ Our message—the single life can also be a fairy tale. The End!”
Princess Bubble stars a princess who is confused by the traditional fairy tale messages that say she must find her “prince” before she can live “happily ever after.” Princess Bubble dons her “thinking crown” to research traditional fairy tales, interviews married girlfriends, and even takes counsel from her mother, who advises her to sign up at FindYourPrince.com. With a little help from her fairy godmother (this is still a fairy tale after all), Ms. Bubble discovers that “living happily ever after” is not about finding a prince. “True happiness,” the book reveals, “is found by loving God, being kind to others, and being comfortable with who you are already!”
“We’ve had countless women all over the nation tell us they wish there had been a book like this when they were young,” said Johnston. “This is a story women can truly believe in and feel comfortable sharing with their children.”
ABOUT PRINCESS BUBBLE and BUBBLE GUM PRESS: Self-published in 2006, Princess Bubble is now available through most online retailers and in over 70 retail outlets. The Princess Bubble message, cleverly articulated by former Delta flight attendants Susan Johnston and Kimberly Webb, seeks to find an alternate ending to “happily ever after” and change the notion that life begins and ends with finding your Prince Charming. Looking to bolster the poor self-esteem of female youth and the stigma that many single adult women carry, Johnston and Webb believe “this is a book for women of all ages, a story they can believe in and share with their children.” In upcoming adventures, Princess Bubble will travel to distant lands where the knowledge of every new culture will enrich her flourishing life.
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